


All These Ghosts and I Still Can't Find a Boo

by darkgirl11



Category: Naruto
Genre: F/F, F/M, Gaara and Shino are the worst, Ghostfuckers, Happy Halloween, Haunted House, I Tried, Kiba is the leader, M/M, Mentioned Pennywise (IT), NaruSasu - Freeform, Naruto Ghost Adventures Crew, Nejilee, Old Town Road remix, Paranormal Investigators, Scooby Doo References, ShikaTem, Short Story, Survival of the Fittest, annoyed Neji, badass kiba, bored Shikamaru, broody Sasuke, chicken Hinata, danger prone Sakura and Ino, gangster Tenten, ghost remix, ghosts bro, ghosts vs Naruto's friends, good guy Chouji, hinaten - Freeform, insane asylum, it's more like a series of unfortunate events, kankukiba, let's split up and search for clues, lots of swearing, low key Sasuke bashing from Neji, obnoxious Naruto, paranormal activity, probably not tho, sakuino - Freeform, sassy spirits, scary Temari, sexual Kankuro, tbh they should all be dead if thats the case, they try their best, they try to be a ghost hunting team, this might be funny, vine reference title, youthful Lee
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-22
Updated: 2019-10-22
Packaged: 2020-12-28 13:46:48
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,573
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21137684
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/darkgirl11/pseuds/darkgirl11
Summary: Kankuro wasn’t expecting to be punched at his job at the haunted house by Kiba nor was he expecting to get roped into Naruto’s crazy idea to form a ghost hunting team. But here he was. Naruto and his pals get wrapped up in another one of Naruto's schemes but this time... they're going to try to be an official ghost hunting team called the Ghostfuckers.As you can tell, this can only end in disaster.





	All These Ghosts and I Still Can't Find a Boo

**Author's Note:**

> I've had this idea since the beginning of the month and I'm so happy to finally have a Halloween story out! I know this probably isn't funny but in some cases maybe this is a little scary if you read it in the dark or at night? Maybe? Probably not but oh well, I tried. I might make more to this but I really don't know... anyways, thank you for reading this Halloween themed story! I hope you all enjoy! Happy early Halloween! :)

“Naruto, I really shouldn’t go to the haunted house.”

“Why not, Kiba?”

“Don’t you remember when I got kicked out last year?”

“All the more reason to go again!”

Kiba had gotten kicked out of the haunted house last year when he punched one of the workers who was scaring the people coming in. While most people when put in the fight or flight situation choose flight, Kiba chose fight. Which wasn’t the best choice to have when you are aware of what you’re setting yourself up for. He knew he had nothing to truly be afraid of but he still couldn’t shake the thought that well what if they actually are monsters?

Naruto and Kiba were a part of a very large friend group and everyone finally got their shit together to go to the new haunted house in Konoha. Kiba was the only one who was reluctant to go but Naruto told their friends to leave it to him to get the brunette to go with them. If Naruto didn’t bring Kiba with them then Naruto knew he wasn’t getting lucky that night.

The blonde looked at his watch, making a shocked expression as he realized he had been trying to convince Kiba to go with them for three hours. Everyone was blowing up Naruto’s phone telling him to meet them at the haunted house in twenty minutes and if he didn’t have Kiba they were going to push him at all the scary people at the haunted house.

“Kiba, don’t take this the wrong way.”

“What are you- “

“Don’t be such a pussy!”

Kiba’s animalistic eyes turned into a glare that could’ve killed someone if they looked right into them. Kiba was about to punch his friend when Naruto raised his hands up in a “don’t shoot” action as he explained, “What I mean is I don’t want you to miss out on the chance to hang out with everyone just because you’re scared you’re going to punch one of the workers again. Don’t be the reason why you can’t have a good time.”

The brunette’s eyes softened as he really took in the words his best friend spoke. He ran a hand through his hair as he thought it all over. He didn’t want to cause a scene and get kicked out but at the same time he didn’t want to say he didn’t try to have a good time with his friends. He took a deep breath and looked over at Naruto, who was still uncertain as to whether he was going to get hit or not.

Naruto was grinning when he saw Kiba smile at him. Naruto quickly grabbed his keys and grabbed his friend’s wrist, dragging him out to his car so they could make it to the haunted house on time. Kiba and Naruto couldn’t stop screaming the lyrics to all the songs that came on the radio and it really helped to ease Kiba’s spirits about tonight.

As they pulled into the gravel parking lot, Kiba could see their friend group waiting at the ticket booth for them. Kiba stepped out of the car and was immediately tackled by Sakura and Ino, both of them extremely happy that he had decided to come. When they pulled away Kiba could see Sasuke giving a shit eating smirk at him.

“Try not to punch anyone this time, Kiba.”

“Try not to be such a fucking bitch, Sasuke… too late.”

Sasuke rolled his eyes and reached a hand out to grab Naruto’s. As all the semes paid for their ukes, the single pringles stepped up to pay. Which means that Kiba, Shino, and Choji walked up to pay for their tickets. It’s not like they really minded being single, they just wished that one day they would be able to find someone. Hell, even Shikamaru found love in Temari and that was really saying something.

As the friend group walked up to the front of the haunted house, their eyes widened when they realized Temari was at the front in a witch costume. Kiba muttered that being a witch was rather suiting for her, which earned an elbow to the ribs from Neji. Temari ignored Kiba and gave a grin to the group.

“You’re all about to cry like a bunch of pussies!”

“You’ve really got yourself a classy lady there, Shikamaru.”

Naruto found himself getting a smack to the back of the head from Sasuke for his comment. After Shikamaru gave all their tickets to Temari, the group followed Shikamaru into the haunted house. All the friends that had lovers clung to each other, leaving Kiba to fend for himself with Shino, Shikamaru, and Choji.

As the friends entered the foyer, the front door closed behind them loudly. Everyone jumped at the noise and looked behind them to see who closed the door but there was no one there. Shikamaru rolled his eyes at all the shivering ukes. This was definitely going to be a drag. He wondered which of the friends was going to be the first to scream.

Shikamaru took the lead and led the friends into the kitchen. He had no idea where he was going but Choji was whispering in his ear to check the kitchen for food so he decided to humor his best friend. Shikamaru put his hands in his pants pockets as he walked around the dark kitchen. There were a few lights flickering on and off at random but other than that it was pretty dark.

Choji wasted no time in making his way over to the fridge, despite the many people telling him that looked like a bad idea. Choji walked over to the fridge and opened the door, revealing someone dressed as a zombie screaming in Choji’s face. Shikamaru watched as everyone but Shino started screaming.

Naruto jumped into Sasuke’s arms, Hinata started crying in Tenten’s arms, Ino and Sakura were holding each other screaming, and Lee was on Neji’s back yelling for his boyfriend to protect him. Once Neji regained his composure he rolled his eyes and shoved Lee off of him. Everyone was expecting the zombie to chill after they stopped screaming but instead, he chased them out of the kitchen.

Everyone was running out of the kitchen, shaking as they heard the zombie yelling after them. The friends ran into the dining room next, sighing in relief when they saw that there was no one but them in the room. Shikamaru rolled his eyes and leaned against a china plate cabinet. As soon as Shikamaru’s body was pressed onto the cabinet, it broke apart and another zombie crashed through it to grab the pineapple haired male’s shoulders.

“Holy shit! The zombie’s got Shikamaru!”

“Survival of the fittest! Run!”

Everyone watched as Naruto ran out of the room, not even bothering to try and save Shikamaru. The zombie picked up Shikamaru and was about to take him into the hole that he came from until Kiba decided to step in. Kiba ran forward and grabbed Shikamaru, yanking him out of the zombie’s grasp and then dragging Shikamaru out of the dining room to follow their friends.

As everyone was catching their breath on the stairs, Shikamaru glared at Naruto and huffed out, “You’re a real piece of shit, Naruto. I hope the zombies go after you next.”

“You would’ve done the same to me!”

“I will now.”

Naruto was about to say something in return but they heard footsteps coming their way. Naruto quickly raced up the stairs, leaving all of his friends to chase after him to avoid the zombies. They all followed Naruto into the master bedroom. Everyone was huddled together, not even trying to search around the room because at this point they were just trying to hide.

It was almost like they had forgotten that they were in a haunted house created by people. They all were acting like they were in a horror movie and they were all actually going to die. As the group backed away from the door, they unknowingly bumped into the closet door. Kiba was the poor, unfortunate soul who bumped into the closet door and that’s when everything went to hell.

Kiba screamed out as a hand punched through the door and grabbed his shoulder. Everyone was screaming as they saw the door get broken down by a zombie. Everyone started running out of the room, leaving only Shikamaru left to try and save Kiba. Just as Shikamaru was going to try to pull Kiba back, their friends were running back into the room screaming that zombies were chasing them.

Shikamaru was shoved to the ground, causing their friends to trip over him and scream that they were going to die. Kiba found himself being dragged back into the closet. Kiba grit his teeth, no one was going to save him and he’d be damned if he got dragged off by a zombie. Kiba elbowed the zombie hard, causing it to let out a grunt and release the fanged boy.

“Fuck off, zombie!”

Kiba turned and punched the zombie right in the face, sending him back into the ground. As the zombie groaned around on the floor, there were footsteps coming towards them revealing two more zombies. Everyone started screaming again and Kiba got into a battle-ready stance until they all saw the zombies take off their masks. Everyone gasped as they saw Gaara and Temari racing to their fallen zombie.

“What the hell happened in here?!”

“Tattoo face over there has a killer left hook…”

“Kiba, you fucking punched Kankuro?!”

All eyes were on Kiba as he looked around nervously and then tried to defend himself, “I fucking told all of you I shouldn’t have come here! I told you all I was going to punch someone! He also came up from behind me punching his way through a fucking door so no shit I punched him!”

Kiba got down beside the siblings and helped the groaning man take off his mask. Kiba’s eyes went wide as he realized just how attractive this Kankuro guy was. He had messy brown hair and purple face paint making the most intricate design. He was far too attractive to be hiding under a zombie costume.

Kankuro seemed to be just as enchanted by Kiba. Kankuro loved those animalistic looking eyes Kiba had and the way he had fanged teeth almost like a dog. He was a rather wild looking person but he was so beautiful. Kankuro couldn’t remember the last time he was this wonderstruck by someone.

“Uh, hey, I’m really sorry about punching you, Kankuro.”

“Yeah, it’s no problem. You wanna get out of here?”

“Oh, shit, yea, I should probably get going and-“

“No, I mean… ‘go on a date with me’ type of get out of here.”

Temari didn’t even bother hiding her groan of annoyance. Leave it to Kankuro to fall head over heels for the guy who punched him in the face. Kiba was smiling as he held his hand out for Kankuro to take. Kankuro smirked, wasting no time in grabbing the hand reaching out to him. Gaara rolled his eyes, it looked like their haunted house was going to be closed for the night then.

As the siblings got out of their zombie costumes and followed the large friend group out of the haunted house. The friend group reached the verdict to all meet at a local ramen restaurant to celebrate making it out of the haunted house alive. The siblings were forced to come with them on account that Kiba and Kankuro were trying to get to know each other more, Temari was dating Shikamaru, and Lee was best friends with Gaara.

They had no choice but to come, really.

When they reached the ramen place, they all sat in the back at the longest table they had. Kankuro wasted no time in flirting with Kiba, who was a blushing mess. The entire time everyone was talking, no one seemed to really notice just how quiet Naruto was being. Once their drinks all came, they raised their glasses in the air to make a toast. Lee was giving his nice guy pose as he made the toast.

“To Kiba!”

“Why the hell are we toasting to me?”

“Because you punched Kankuro to make him hang out with us!”

“Lee-“

“TO KIBA!”

Everyone shrugged and copied Lee, cheering for Kiba and then clashing their glasses against everyone else’s. Everyone drank and carried on with their conversations until Neji’s voice broke through, “Naruto, you’ve been very uncharacteristically quiet since we’ve arrived. I can’t believe I’m saying this but… what on earth are you thinking about?”

“I’ve realized something tonight.”

Everyone groaned, this meant that Naruto was going to try to rope them all in on one of his schemes again. They thought they were ready for what he was going to say but they really weren’t ready when he said, “We should all form a ghosting hunting team!”

Nobody moved. Nobody said anything. Nobody even blinked for five minutes. They all just stared at him. Kiba was the first one to get out of that trance, shaking his head before asking, “Where the fuck did that come from? We’re all probably the worst people to make a ghost hunting team!”

“That’s why we’d be perfect for it!”

Naruto quickly went into explaining his idea, “We were a mess tonight but that’s why we’d be perfect! People watch ghost hunters because they like the reactions people have to paranormal activity! Just think about it! If we made our own little ghost hunting channel on YouTube we could get famous! And if we don’t then fuck it, we had fun! What do you guys say?”

“Fuck it, I’ve got nothing better to do.”

“That’s the spirit, Kiba!”

Kankuro shook his head at his newfound lover, chuckling at how easy it was for Kiba to be pulled into this bullshit. Kankuro was surprised to see that the rest of Naruto and Kiba’s friends started to nod to let them know they were interested. Soon enough, Kankuro was the last one they needed to say yes. He groaned aloud and smashed his head on the table, lifting up a thumbs up.

God, he was a fucking sucker for Kiba.

* * *

“Naruto, where did you get all this ghost equipment?”

“I can’t hear you over the groans of the spirits, Kiba!”

“We’re in a fucking crowded van, you dumbass.”

“A _haunted_ crowded van.”

It had been a week since everyone agreed to Naruto’s plan to form a ghost hunting team. In that week, Naruto had somehow managed to gather the equipment they would need to record the events and record anything ghost related. Somehow, Naruto had even managed to get in contact with a woman who was in charge of a haunted insane asylum.

Naruto seemed to be the only one who was excited about this. Everyone else was seriously wondering why the hell they agreed to do this. They arrived at the asylum in the late afternoon and were rather surprised to see a lady waiting outside the building. Everyone stumbled out of the van, crashing into each other and glaring at one another in the process.

The woman was staring at the group like they were insane. Naruto and Kiba made their way to the front of the group so that they could speak to the woman. Kiba reached his hand out, smiling as the two shook hands, “Nice to meet you, miss. I’m Kiba and this is Naruto. We’re-“

“We’re the Ghostfuckers!”

“Excuse me?”

“We. Are. The. Ghost. Fuckers.”

“I thought you said you were an official team.”

Kiba gave a sheepish smile before shoving Naruto back to their group. Kiba continued to smile at the woman as he spoke, “We’re the most official ghost hunting team in Konoha, ma’am! We have a large group to make sure that we can cover more parts of the building. We’ve got tech people and paranormal experts so we’re the most official ghost hunting team you’ll ever meet!”

“What is the blonde’s role in the group?”

“Naruto’s here for comedic purposes.”

The woman nodded as if that explained everything. Naruto was about to protest but Sasuke covered is mouth. Kiba carried on with his conversation with the woman, “Is there anything we should know about the spirits here? Any places in the building where the paranormal activity is highest? Any information would be hella helpful.”

She nodded quickly and answered, “Some of the spirits can be rather aggressive. Some of them will push or scratch you while there are also some spirits that will touch you during the night and want to have sex with you. It would be in your best interest not to mess with the spirits. You never know which spirit will come out to play when you call for them.”

Everyone was concerned about the sexual spirit comment but the woman continued speaking, “The basement is known for a lot of paranormal activity. There are four floors and each one is more haunted than the last. There’s a lot of ground to cover in this asylum so it’s good that you have such a big team.”

“Can you share a little information about the asylum?”

She nodded again and answered grimly, “This asylum is known for a lot of suicides and murders. This place got closed nearly fifty years ago when the killings were made known to the public. There have been many cases where the mentally unstable have stabbed and killed their caretakers or doctors while there are also stories of how one doctor got pleasure from killing the insane.”

Hinata was visibly shaking as the woman went on, “The basement is where the most unstable patients went. Not many people venture down there so if you go to the basement make sure you don’t go in alone. Some people get locked down there by the spirits so be careful. These aren’t Casper the friendly ghost type of spirits… these ones are spirits destined to go to hell when they cross over.”

“That’s comforting to know.”

“If you can get these spirits to cross over it would be appreciated.”

“Well, the Ghostfuckers are on the case, ma’am.”

“Here are the keys and… good luck.”

The woman walked away with a bit of a pep in her step as if she was happy they were going in there. Kiba turned to his friends, they all looked terrified but they had come too far to back down now. They had the keys to the asylum and it was time to put Naruto’s plan into action.

“Alright, Ghostfuckers, let’s get in there!”

* * *

“Guys, this is some shit out of Scooby Doo.”

“You’d definitely be Shaggy, Naruto.”

“And you’d be Scooby, Kiba.”

“Hinata would be Daphne for sure.”

Hinata wanted to protest but Tenten put a hand on her shoulder as if she was trying to tell Hinata silently that Kiba was right. She sighed, she knew they were right about her. Naruto was giggling as he said, “Then Sasuke would be Fred and Neji would be Velma!”

“I’m not a girl, you idiot!”

“Your long hair says otherwise.”

“I hope the spirits go after you first.”

Naruto was about to say something back but he stopped when Kiba unlocked the front door. Everyone huddled behind Kiba as he opened the door and pushed it open. Nobody moved until Kiba was shoved forward by Kankuro. Kiba stumbled forward and turned back to shoot a glare at Kankuro, who just smiled and blew a kiss to him.

Kiba gulped as he slowly walked forward. It was dark but he figured there would be a light switch somewhere around here. He felt the wall and smiled when he finally felt a light switch. He flicked the switch on but as soon as the lights came on they flickered until they went black again. Kiba groaned out in a loud and dramatic way, clearly annoyed that they would be forced to work in the dark.

“Well, fuck it, we’re in the dark tonight, guys.”

Kiba motioned for everyone to come in and even though they couldn’t really see him, they knew they needed to get inside. As soon as they were all in the hall, the door slammed shut behind them. Temari ran over to the doors and tried to open them but they wouldn’t budge. She looked behind to the group and they couldn’t really see her but they knew she was starting to get a little freaked out.

Kiba and Shikamaru seemed to be the only ones who weren’t phased by the ghosts shutting the doors on them. Kiba looked over to Shikamaru and nodded, knowing Shikamaru had the idea that he nodded at him. Shikamaru grabbed a lantern and turned it on so that everyone would finally be able to see each other.

The fanged boy gulped before stating, “We should do what they do in Scooby Doo and split up and search for clues… except this time we’re looking for ghosts. So, we need to have a couple people up here monitoring everyone who’s walking around through our video cameras. That’ll be Gaara, Shino, and Choji.”

The three of them nodded, allowing Kiba to continue with the plan, “So for the basement, only the bravest should go down there so that’ll be Neji and Lee. Temari and Shikamaru, you’ll be hanging out by the basement door to make sure they don’t get locked down there. If they need help, one of you go down there. There always needs to be at least one person by the door.”

The four of them slowly nodded. Kiba thought for a moment before stating, “Alright, so the rest of us will have these four floors. On this floor, Hinata and Tenten will be looking around for spooky shit. On the second floor will be Sakura and Ino. On the third floor will be Naruto and Sasuke. That means the fourth floor is for me and Kankuro.”

Everyone nodded. Kiba nodded back to his friends before continuing, “Everyone grab a lantern and a flashlight. Make sure you’ve got your walkie talkies on you at all times to communicate with each other in case shit does down. Everyone grab a video camera and pick one person in your duo to record while the other person communicates with the ghosts.”

All the friends did as Kiba instructed and once they were all ready to go, Naruto put his hand out in the middle of the circle they had created. Slowly but surely, everyone followed suit and put a hand in. Naruto grinned to his friends, “Ghostfuckers on three! One! Two! Three!”

“GHOSTFUCKERS!”

* * *

“I can’t believe Kiba sent us to the basement.”

“Neji, he said we were the bravest out of everyone!”

“He was just saying that to make you want to go down there.”

“Nonsense! Let us find these spirits, Neji!”

Neji sighed as he turned on the camera, following Lee down the hall to the basement door. Temari and Shikamaru were trailing behind them. Shikamaru had opted to be the camera guy since talking to the spirits was too troublesome, especially if they decided to talk back to him.

Once they reached the door, Lee slowly opened it. There was a chill in the air when the door was fully opened, causing the four friends to shiver. Lee pointed his flashlight down the stairs and didn’t see anything too sketchy so he decided to head down. Neji silently did the praying motion of the father, son, and the holy spirit before following behind Lee.

Temari and Shikamaru watched as the two lovers made their way down the stairs and slowly moved out of their field of vision. They could faintly hear the two down there and that was all they had to indicate to them that Neji and Lee were still alive down there. Shikamaru let out a long sigh, _what a drag…_

“Neji, look at the wall! It says 666.”

“Looks like they were expecting Sasuke to come down here.”

“What does 666 stand for?”

“The Devil. Rather welcoming for Sasuke.”

Lee looked back at Neji with a questioning look, why would that be welcoming for Sasuke? Lee thought back on his friend and realized it was rather fitting for Sasuke to be down here since he was often brooding. Lee turned back and kept on with his slow pace of moving down the dark hallway.

“Hello? Spirits? Are any of you down here?”

“And how do you expect to hear them if you didn’t turn your device on?!”

Lee gave a sheepish smile to Neji and grabbed the small device from his pocket. He held the device in his hand as he spoke to the spirits, “If there are any spirits out there, please make your presence known. We are a group of adventurous friends radiating with the power of youth! I hope to find that you are radiating with the youth of dead people!”

“Lee, you idiot!”

“… Neji, I think one of them said something.”

“Play it back.”

“I think it said… _your hair looks stupid_.”

Neji’s eye twitched as the voice played back through the device. As clear as day the spirit told Lee that he had a stupid haircut. Lee stared down at the device and then back to Neji, “I do not think your hair looks stupid, Neji. Do not let these spirits get to you!”

Neji debated slapping Lee in the back of the head for that but he refrained from doing so. It took a lot for Neji to not tell Lee that the ghosts were making fun of him. Lee was far too happy with how the investigation was going for Neji to ruin that for him. As Lee trudged on ahead, Neji pointed the camera back onto himself.

“If I die down here, it wouldn’t be the worst thing to happen.”

* * *

Hinata and Tenten were walking around on the first floor. They had left Gaara, Shino, and Choji with all the equipment by the door. It was comforting to the two females to know that they had those three guys on the same floor as them in case something were to happen. Hinata was holding the camera while Tenten was walking in front of her.

Tenten was going to hold the camera until she realized that Hinata wouldn’t move unless Tenten was leading her. Tenten was worried that the video footage would look too shaky with Hinata holding it but so far she was doing good. Every now and then Hinata would make an “eep!” noise when they would hear a door slamming in the distance or the sound of footsteps.

“Hinata, it’s probably just one of the guys.”

“B-But that sounded like it was in front of us…”

“Don’t worry, babe, I’ll fuck up anyone that comes near us!”

“Y-You can’t hit a ghost.”

Tenten whipped out a knife she was hiding in her boot and held it up as she hissed, “Alright, spirits, I’ve got a knife and I’m not afraid to cut a bitch! I don’t care if you can’t feel it in your ghost form but just know that if you were a person you’d be dead!”

“U-Use the recorder!”

The brunette nodded and grabbed the recorder and held it in her free hand. The two of them continued to walk down the hall, shaking more and more every time they would hear a door slamming. Tenten gulped before trying to put on a brave front, “If you could stop slamming doors that would be much appreciated spirits!”

_‘Miley Cyrus in the headass lookin girl’_

“How the hell do you know about Miley Cyrus?!”

_‘Big ass pale eyes’_

“Leave Hinata out of this! I’ll cut you!”

Hinata and Tenten were screaming as they saw Tenten’s knife get knocked out of her hand. Hinata was sure that the footage she was recording was going to look like as shaky as a _Transformers_ movie but fuck it at least she was trying to record this paranormal activity.

The brunette reached for the other knife she had stuffed in her boot but she cried out when she felt something scratch her. She retracted her hand and pointed the flashlight on her wrist to see that she had been scratched. Tenten pointed the flashlight out in front of her but there was no visible person there to harm her.

_‘Better start running’_

“Oh, hell no! I’m out of here!”

Tenten grabbed Hinata and the two of them started sprinting back to the boys only to realize that they had gotten lost. Tenten and Hinata reached for their walkie talkies to find that they had left them behind with the boys. The two girls looked at each other and started screaming at the top of their lungs.

* * *

“Hey, that kinda sounds like Hinata and Tenten… should we check on them?”

“I didn’t hear nothing.”

“They’re fine.”

It was in that moment that Choji realized that Gaara and Shino were the worst.

* * *

On the second floor was Sakura and Ino. Sakura was the one with the camera while Ino already had her recorder out in case there were any ghosts around that were willing to talk to them. Every now and then Sakura would pan the camera to Ino’s ass and then it would pan back up. She was hoping the boys weren’t able to see that but they could.

“Hello! Any spirits in this bitch?”

_‘I’d like to be in that bitch’_

“Wow, that’s super aggressive…”

Ino looked behind to see Sakura trying to glare at the ghost that said that. Ino rolled her eyes with a smile on her face, good ole jealous Sakura. Ino blew a kiss back at her lover, smiling as Sakura swooned. The two females tried to carry on their way but they both kept getting the feeling that they were being grabbed and groped.

“Sakura, could you quit grabbing my ass? Be professional.”

“Ino, you’re the one grabbing my ass!”

“How could I be grabbing your ass if I’m in front of you?!”

“This… this isn’t funny. Who the hell is grabbing me?!”

The pinkette ran over to Ino and pointed her camera behind her only to reveal that no one was there. Sakura gulped when Ino whispered to her, “This must be that spirit that the woman was talking about! There’s some spirit that wakes you in the middle of the night because it wants to have sex with you!”

“We’re lesbians! We don’t like dick!”

_‘Who said I was a guy?’_

“Oh shit.”

The blonde and the pinkette tried to run away but something pushed Ino into Sakura, causing the two of them to fall to the ground. Ino tried to get back up but she realized that during the fall her ankle had twisted in the process. She fell back down when she tried to get up, crying out to Sakura.

“Go on without me! I’ll only slow you down!”

“This isn’t the time to be dramatic!”

Sakura had the camera in one hand and a slumped Ino on her other arm. The two of them tried to make a run for it but they found themselves getting pushed again from behind. The two girls fell to the ground and hit their heads hard on the ground. The camera slid on the ground but managed to show the two girls falling into unconsciousness.

* * *

“Guys, I think Sakura and Ino are hurt! We need to check on them!”

“I didn’t see nothing.”

“They’re fine.”

It was at this moment that Choji remembered that Gaara and Shino are the worst.

* * *

On the third floor was Naruto and Sasuke. Sasuke was the one holding the camera and Naruto was holding the reorder out. It had taken them some time to figure out who was going to hold the camera because Naruto’s scared ass didn’t want to lead and Sasuke’s stubborn ass didn’t feel like leading tonight. Naruto ended up losing and being the leader.

“You know, music loosens people up!”

“Don’t believe everything Twitter says, dobe.”

“Come on! What’s the worst that could happen if I sing?”

“The spirits could kill us.”

Naruto rolled his eyes at Sasuke before stating, “That’s ridiculous. The worst that could really happen to us is we get pushed or scratched by one of the spirits. Everybody knows that ghosts are actually just trapped in another dimension and when they speak to us or touch us it’s when they’re breaking out of that dimension!”

“What the fuck is wrong with you?”

“A lot, really.”

The blonde cleared his throat and Sasuke wished in that moment that a spirit would take Naruto. As soon as Naruto started singing, Sasuke wished a ghost would end him, “_YEAH! I’m gonna take my horse to the old town road! I’m gonna…. RIDE till I can’t no more! I’m gonna take my horse to the old town road! I’m gonna…. RIDE till I can’t no more!_ Come on, spirits, your turn!”

_‘I got dead bodies in the back’_

“Wait, what…”

_‘Your dumbass is next’_

“I don’t think I like the ghost’s remix…”

Naruto turned around to say something to Sasuke, only to find Sasuke running away already. The blonde felt someone grab him from behind, yanking him down the hallway. Sasuke turned around when he heard Naruto screaming bloody murder. His eyes went wide when he saw Naruto being dragged down the hallway by nothing.

“To save Naruto and die or to run away and live…”

“Fucking help me, teme!”

“Dying sounds nice but living sounds a little better today.”

“I’ll fucking haunt you until you die!”

Well, that didn’t sound nice. Sasuke put the camera down and ran to his lover, engaging in a battle of tug of war with the spirit. Naruto was crying and screaming for Sasuke to save him. Naruto was really regretting having that idea to start a ghost hunting team. Right now, the ghosts seemed to be good at hunting the team.

* * *

“Naruto and Sasuke are literally being taken by ghosts, we need to help!”

“You say something?”

“They’re fine.”

It was in that moment that Choji knew Gaara and Shino had always been the worst.

* * *

Last but not least was Kiba and Kankuro. Kankuro volunteered to be the cameraman so he could have a good view of Kiba’s ass. Kankuro had been quite vocal about that as well. Kiba realized that Kankuro was rather blunt and had no shame in saying sexual things aloud. Kiba found that he didn’t really mind that.

Kiba had his recorder out on the ground while the two males sat in front of it. Kiba took a deep breath to remain calm as he stated, “Hello, my name is Kiba and this is Kankuro. We’re here with a group of friends to try to reach out to you spirits. If anyone is willing to communicate we’re down to listen and talk with you.”

_‘You’re not safe’_

“What do you mean? Are we in danger?”

_‘Your friends are’_

“Do you want to hurt us?”

There was no answer back. Kiba and Kankuro looked back at each other, both of their eyes were wide with fear. Kiba gulped and tried to get the spirit to talk to them again, “I wanted to thank you for speaking to us. I know this might be a bit scary to you but I appreciate you talking to us. If there’s anything else you’d like to say, we’re all ears.”

_‘You need to get out of here’_

“Oh shit, we don’t mean to bother you!”

_‘The others will hurt you’_

“The others? You mean other spirits?”

Kiba and Kankuro were getting a bad feeling about being in the asylum now. They had this horrible feeling in the pit of their stomachs. Kiba was visibly shaking as he whispered, “Kankuro, please stop grabbing my shoulders. It would make me feel a lot better if you stopped.”

“Kiba… that’s not me.”

“I know…”

Kankuro and Kiba started screaming and that’s when they both jumped up and ran down the hall, the recorder was long forgotten. The two of them sprinted down the hall and down the stairs but froze in their tracks when they saw Sasuke trying to pry Naruto away from nobody. Kiba wasted no time in racing forward and grabbing Naruto as well, yanking him along with Sasuke.

Kankuro decided to join in, using his free arm to pull Naruto away. After a minute of pulling, it felt like whoever was trying to get Naruto had let go. Naruto flew right into the other three boys, forcing them to fall to the ground. Naruto screamed when he felt someone grab his foot and started to try to drag him down the hall again.

“Oh, hell no! You can have my shoe, you demon fuck!”

Naruto untied his shoe to free himself and started running towards the stairs, the three males chasing behind him. Kiba looked over at Naruto as they were running down the stairs, “What the hell did you do to make the ghost want to take you?!”

“I didn’t do anything!”

“The lady told us not to provoke the spirits!”

“I just sang to it!”

“Your singing sucks! You provoked it!”

As they ran down to the second floor, they looked out to see Sakura and Ino unconscious on the ground. The boys had to rub their eyes to truly believe what they were seeing. Sakura and Ino’s shorts were slowly being taken off but there was no person around to be doing it. That must’ve meant…

“Holy fucking shit! Ghost rape!”

Kiba and Sasuke ran over and grabbed Ino and Sakura by their ankles, aggressively dragging the girls across the floor and over to them. The boys quickly put the girls’ pants back on and slung them over their shoulders to carry them away. The group carried on screaming and running down the stairs to the first floor.

As they took off running down the hall to get back to Gaara and the others, the group ran into something. Whatever they had ran into had seemed to fall to the ground and cry out like little bitches. Naruto pointed his flashlight on the ground, revealing that they had tackled Hinata and Tenten to the ground.

“Get the fuck up and move, bitches!”

Hinata and Tenten would have to scold Kiba for his language later but for right now they followed his directions. The group ran down the hall and were huffing and puffing by the time that they got back to their base in front of the door. Kiba tried to do a head count and that’s when he realized they were missing people.

“Where the fuck is Neji, Lee, Temari, and Shikamaru?”

“Kiba, they must be in the basement!”

“Shit! Naruto, we need to get them out of there!”

“I was afraid you were going to say that…”

Kiba passed the girl over to Choji and then ran off towards the basement with Naruto. As the two friends got closer to the basement, they could hear screaming. The screaming got louder the closer they got to the door until they reached the door to find Shikamaru trying to pry the door open.

“Shikamaru! Where’s Temari?!”

“She got pulled down there!”

Kiba and Naruto grabbed a hold of Shikamaru and pulled back, trying to help their friend open the basement door. After a good minute of pulling, the door opened and the friends fell to the floor. The three friends got up and looked down the stairway, pointing their flashlights and lanterns down to try to see if they could find anyone.

They could hear some screaming and that’s when they saw Lee sprinting up the stairs with Temari trailing close behind. The two of them ran past Kiba and the others but they were still missing one person. Kiba took a deep breath and yelled “fuck it” before he sprinted down the stairs to find Neji.

“Kiba, what are you doing?!”

“Hold the door open, Naruto!”

Kiba sprinted down and called out for Neji, pointing his flashlight down the hall when he heard someone screaming. Kiba ran down, wincing as he felt as though he was getting scratched along the way. He pushed through it and tripped over something on the ground. Kiba got on all fours and pointed his flashlight at what he tripped over, a fucking dead body.

“Fucking shit!”

The brunette quickly got to her feet and looked at the dead body, praying that it wasn’t Neji. He let out a sigh of relief when he realized it wasn’t his friend. He scrambled back to his feet and ran back down the hall. He made it into a room and pointed his flashlight all around. When he pointed his flashlight to the corner of the room that’s where he found Neji.

Neji’s camera was on the ground pointed right at the pale eyed male. Neji was kicking and screaming against some unknown force that was pinning down. Kiba ran over and grabbed Neji’s arm, trying to pull him out of the corner. Kiba grit his teeth as he yanked harder on his friend, much to Neji’s annoyance.

“Kiba, you’re going to rip my arm off!”

“Do you want me to leave your ass down here?!”

Neji rolled his eyes but didn’t complain after that. Kiba took a deep breath and then did one final pull, which was successful in freeing Neji from whatever was trying to pin him down. Neji picked up the camera and got up to his feet to follow Kiba. The two were about to run out of the room when the door closed in front of them. Kiba noticed Neji had a recorder in his pocket and forcefully took it from him.

“What the hell do you spirits want from us?!”

_‘Join us’_

“Just let us go and we’ll give you Naruto!”

_‘Anyone but him’_

Neji couldn’t help but chuckle at that and Kiba shrugged and nodded, he could see why the spirits wouldn’t want the blonde. Yet, Kiba wasn’t really willing to give up any of the other people with him. Kiba rolled his shoulders as he walked to the wall across from the door. Neji was about to ask him what he was doing until Kiba rushed past him and broke through the door.

The two friends raced down the hall, hurdling over the dead body in the hall and then running up the stairs. Kiba turned and groaned when he heard Neji fall behind him. Of fucking course, the spirits would grab Neji’s ankle as he was just about to escape. Kiba rolled his eyes before running back down the stairs and dragged Neji back up the stairs, not giving a fuck as Neji complained about the pain.

“We’re up! Close the door!”

Naruto and Shikamaru quickly shut he door and locked it from the outside, screaming as they heard what sounded like people slamming on the door from the other side. Kiba motioned for his friends to follow him as he ran down the hall and back to the rest of their friend group. Sakura and Ino had regained consciousness but no one was willing to tell them they were about to be raped by ghosts.

Doors were slamming all around them and it sounded like people were walking all around them. Kiba grabbed the keys to the place from his pocket and exclaimed, “Alright, I think we did enough here! I think it’s time for us to leave before we wind up like that fucking dead guy in the basement! All those in favor, raise your fucking hand!”

Everyone but Gaara and Shino raised their hands.

Kiba didn’t even care that Shino and Gaara didn’t want to leave. He grabbed Shino’s arm and Kankuro grabbed Gaara’s arm as everyone hustled out of the building. Kiba ran over to the doors once everyone was out and locked the doors. He let out a sigh of relief, feeling like they were finally safe.

Kiba walked over to Kankuro and slumped against his shoulder, causing the other male to wrap an arm around his waist. Kiba looked back at their friends, each of them were clinging to their lover if they had one. Gaara and Shino looked rather unamused while Choji was glaring at the two of them. Kiba felt like he was missing something but didn’t care enough to ask about it.

“I can’t believe we survived a night in that madhouse.”

“We were only in there for an hour.”

* * *

In the morning, Kiba returned the keys to the woman and told her that the Ghostfuckers did the best they could. As soon as the woman entered the building, she was grabbed and dragged down the hall towards the basement. Everyone’s eyes went wide and no one dared to move after seeing that.

Gaara slowly walked over to the door, picked up the keys, and locked the doors. He looked back at everyone and nodded. Everyone was in silent agreement to never speak of what just happened ever again. Gaara threw the keys into the sewer and left with the rest of their friends. Naruto couldn’t help but gulp as he made a comment.

“Now Pennywise has the keys!”

“Now the building is his problem.”

**Author's Note:**

> Once again, thank you for reading! I really enjoyed making this so i hope everyone had a good time reading it! I might make another one for Christmas? Not really sure? I liked making this so we'll see. Okay well, I should probably stop talking now. Sorry for any mistakes! Thank you all again for reading! Don't forget to leave some love if you liked it! I'll catch you on the next one! :)


End file.
